This particular post will focus on a more narrow and discrete topic: From a feminist perspective, is polyandry more or less acceptable than polygyny?
Let’s start with a very quick history and terminology lesson. Polygamy means taking more than one spouse, either husband or wife. Polygyny means one man taking multiple wives. Polyandry means one woman taking multiple husbands.
In the Mormon context, there are two twists to these definitions. First, the term polygamy is often used informally, to mean polygyny. Second, the term polyandry is typically used to refer to the practice of male-initiated marriage and sexual relations with already-married women. As a definitional matter, “polyandry” need not be limited to male-initiated bonds, and in some polyandrous societies, women have freedom to choose their mates. However, Mormon polyandry as practiced in Nauvoo (and later to a lesser degree in Utah) did not accord women such freedom. Rather, a small subset of already-married women were approached and asked to become the plural wives of other men, while simultanously remaining in their existing marriages.
From a feminist perspective, polyandry creates new wrinkles.
On an initial examination, polyandry has some potential to be a pro-feminist piece if the polygamy puzzle. For one thing, it adds a very satisfying “sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander” aspect to the discussion. The system of Mormon polygyny institutionalized yet another gender-based double standard. This double standard placed the brunt of the emotional costs on the plural wives, who were expected to share their husbands. Under polyandry, the costs of spouse-sharing are distributed at least somewhat among both sexes.
Second, polyandry probably fosters male empathy towards women forced to share spouses. Polygamous marriages often created tension and unhappiness in women, who dealt with difficult emotional turmoil. Similarly, we read of tension and unhappiness felt by men who were in polyandrous marriages.
polyandry potentially allows more freedom for women to enter into fulfilling relationships
On all of these counts — lessening of the double standard, greater burden-sharing and probably empathy from men, and broader relationship opportunities for women — polyandry seems like a clear gain for women
About Me
- Adrienne Raichelle
- An outspoken womanist. She uses her background in Marketing and Advertising to balance the scales domestically and internationally... An advocate of the issues of women, family and community. She spends a great deal of her time speaking publicly and searching out and addressing the challenging issues. She does not wear a cape, however one can not help but fancy her accountability, follow-through and ownership of issues... In conjunction with the corporate sector work schedule, Public Speaking and advocacy, she single handedly raises 3 sons and makes a fulfilling home life for her maturing family, managing to install in them the necessary doses of honesty and civic responsibility.
1 comment:
The other guy feels like a brother to me. We all 3 pal around together.
She and I live together and she stays overnight at his house on a regular basis. It feels so normal to us and it has been very easy for years.
I'm amazed that it is not more common. I think in modern society, the potential of polyandry in straight relationships is very wide. Men can often feel comfortable sharing a woman. Society (at least the liberal end of it) is not critical of this where as they are of polygyny. And of course she can (and has) make love with him Sunday morning and then come home to make love to me an hour later. A man can't do that.
There is of course, no community of polyandrous adults, but on-line I have found quite a few isolated examples just like us. Heterosexual, sexually functional, committed long term polyandrous relationships, or marriages open for the woman.
We don't associate with the poly culture because they are so broad by definition; gay and lesbian, swinger, bondage and so forth. Not to be judgmental, but it doesn't reflect our nature. We are very normal in every way except the fact that there are more than 2 of us.
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