THE THINGS I LEARNED

THE THINGS I LEARNED AS YOU DEVISTATED MY WORLD CAN NOT BE NUMBERED OR MESURED... AT LEAST NOT IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE.

I HAVE NOT COME UP WITH AN ACCURATE MEASUREMENT SYSTEM TO WHICH I CAN APPLY TO THE LEVELS OF JOY AND SORROW.

I WAS INNOCENT IN SPRIT AND HEART WHEN YOU APPEARED. IDEALISTIC AND HOPEFUL.

I LEARNED TO LOVE WITH AN UNAFRAID HEART. I LEARNED TO OPEN MY INNERMOST THOUGHTS AND SECRETS TO YOU. I LEARNED THAT A SMILE AND A TOUCH COULD MOVE MOUNTAINS. I LEARNED THAT BEING ALONE IS NOT NATURAL. I LEARNED THAT ONE OF THE GIFTS FROM THE MOST HIGH COULD COME IN THE FORM OF YOU. I LEARNED THAT MUSIC IS EVERYWHERE AND IN EVERYTING. I LEARNED THAT A BRILLIANT MIND IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF THINGS. I LEARNED TO PUT A DEFINING POINT ON MY CAPABILITIES. I LEARNED PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS FOR MAGIC. I LEARNED LOVE RUNS ON THE FEET OF HERMES.

IN THIS SPACE OF SORROW AND LONLINESS, I FIND THERE ARE EVEN MORE THINGS WHICH I HAVE LEARNED. THINGS THAT IT PAINS ME TO KNOW/ RECOGNIZE.

I HAVE LEARNED THAT FEAR IS THE HEARTS FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST PAIN. I LEARNED THAT SECRETS ARE KEPT FOR A REASON. TO KEEP SAFE FROM ALL HARM. I LEARNED THAT THE MOST PAINFUL SIGHT CAN BE A SMILE AND A TOUCH CAN CRIPPLE. I LEARNED THAT BEING ALONE DARKENS THE SOUL, BUT BEING IN YOUR MIDST CAN SHREAD THAT SAME SOUL. I LEARNED THAT THE GIFTS OF THE MOST HIGH OFTEN COME WITH CONTENGANCY CLAUSES, STRINGS AND CONSIQUENCES ATTACHED. I LEARNED NOT ALL MUSIC SERINADES THE SOUL. IT CAN OFTIMES RIP A CHASIM IN THE VERY FABRIC OF A LIFE. I LEARNED A BRILLIANT MIND ISOLATES, LOOKS DOWN ON, CONDEMS AND DOES NOT UNDERSTAND FORGIVENESS ( TO GIVE OR TO RECIEVE). I LEARNED THAT MY CAPIBILITIES WILL NEVER BE RECOGNIZED IN YOUR EYES. I LEARNED THE DARKEST MAGIC IS CONJURED FROM FALSE TOUNGS AND PSEUDO LOVE. I LEARNED HOW DAMNING SELFISHNESS CAN BE ON A PERSONS LIFE. I LEARNED HOW TO SUFFER DOWN INDIGNATION. I LEARNED TO DOUBT MYSELF, I LEARNED PEACE NEVER COMES FROM WAR~ JUST MORE WAR. I LARNED TO BE YOUR MUSE AND YOUR IMAGINARY NEMISIS WHILE YOU EVOLVED INTO MY ENIGMA AND OUR LOVE A NEVER ENDING PARADOX.

I HAVE NOT COME UP WITH AN ACCURATE MEASUREMENT SYSTEM TO WHICH I CAN APPLY TO THE LEVELS OF JOY AND SORROW.

YOU

BEFORE THE HURT BEGAN, I BELIEVED MYSELF TO BE WHOLE
BEFORE THE PAIN BEGAN, I BELIEVED IN FAIRY TALES

BEFORE THERE WAS~ YOU WERE

WHEN MY THOUGHTS WERE INNOCENT, I BELIEVED IN MAGIC
WHEN MY HEART WAS YOUNGER, I BELIEVED IN MIRICALS

WHEN THERE WAS NOTHING~ YOU WERE

WITH MY FIRST BREATH, I BELIEVED IN IMORTALITY
WITH EACH PASSING DAY, I BELIEVED IN MANIFEST DESTANY

WITHIN~ YOU WERE

IN THE MIDST OF MY TURMOIL, I BELIEVED IN A DREAM
IN THE MIDST OF MY CONFUSION, I BELIEVED IN COMFORT

IN THE EYE OF THE STORM~ YOU WERE

RUNNING FROM CHAOS, I BELIEVED IN KEEPING PACE
RUNNING FROM CONFLICT, I BELIEVED IN RUNNING THE GOOD RACE

RUNNING WITH THE RIVER~ YOU WERE



BEFORE THE FAIRY TALES ENDED I COULD SEE NOTHING AND EVERYTHING

THE ALL SEEING EYE, BLINDED~ THERE YOU ARE

WHEN THE NEW CHAPTER OF MY LIFE OPENED, INNOCENCE WAS LOST AND MAGIC AND MIRICALS WERE NO MORE

THE BINDING ON THE BOOK OF LIFE SHREADED. ALL SPELL WERE REVEALED~ THERE YOU ARE

WITH DESTANY HIDDEN, IMORTAL BREATH WAS NO MORE

WINDED AND BREATHLESS ~ THERE YOU ARE

IN THE DYING DREAM THERE IS NO COMFORT. NO REST FROM MY TURMOIL. NO UNDERSTANDING TO BRING PEACE CONFUSION

BATTLE SCARED AND DISILLUSIONED~ THERE YOU ARE

RUNNING THE RACE DRAWS IN THE CHAOS, PREPETUATES THE CONFLICT AND DEADENS THE PACE

LISLESS AND DEADENED SPRIT~ THERE YOU ARE

THERE IS NO ESCAPING YOUR PLACEMENT. THERE IS NO DENYING WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN. THERE IS NO RESPITE, YOU ARE THE EVER MOVING FORCE OF IT ALL.

THE BRINGER OF NIGHTMARES THE DREAM RIPPER. THE PREDITOR OF HOPE. SURVIVING ON THE TEARS OF THE OPTIMISTIC.

WHERE THERE WAS ONCE LIFE LOVE SHONE THROUGH LIKE PARIDISE. BRINGING WITH IT ENDLESS SACRIFICE. A BLOOD LUST WHICH CAN NEVER BE QUINCHED.

TEARS EVENTUALLY DRY AND IN THEIR PLACE THEY LEAVE THE SALTY REMINDERS. COLLECTED IN THE RESIVOR ONCE RESERVED FOR LIFE AND LOVE.

CURSED ARE THE GREEDY OF HEART. DAMNED ARE THE VICTIMS WHICH LAY IN THE WAKE OF YOUR WORDS, YOUR RYTHIM AND YOUR MIND.

SALVATION

SALVATION THROUGH ISOLATION... SOMETIMES ITS THE ONLY WAY. I HAVE BEEN ON THE GIVING AND RECIEVING END. ITS A DIFFICULT THING. HARD TO DO AND HARD TO ACCEPT.

JUST BE MINDFUL, ONLY ISOLATE YOUR SELF FROM THE HURT NOT THE LOVE

PEACE THROUGH FAITH (AND VICE VERSA)

IT TAKES TIME TO UNRAVEL THE KNOTS OF YOUR LIFE. IT TAKES TIME TO BE COMPLETE ONCE THOSE KNOTS ARE GONE. YOU BECOME USED TO THE DISCOMFORT AND THE INCONVIENCE OF THEM BEING THERE.

IT TAKES TIME TO IDENTIFY THE PAINFUL AREAS AND CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR LIFE AND IT TAKES EVEN LONGER TO MOVE FORWARD FROM THAT PAIN AND FIND A PEACEFUL PLACE.

I HAVE HEARD IT SAID THAT THROUGH FAITH YOU FIND PEACE. BUT THE QUESTION, SURLY, MUST BE... FAITH IN WHAT? THE ONLY WAY I CAN MANAGE TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION IS TO SAY FAITH IN YOURSELF. I KNOW I KNOW IT SOUNDS AS CLECHE AS ANY TURND PHRASE, BUT I HAVE FOUND (AND AM CONTINUALLY FINDING) THE TRUTH IN THAT STATEMENT.

MY PAIN AND KNOTS STEMED FROM A PLACE THAT WAS SO FAR REMOVED FROM MY OWN POSESSION THAT IT WILL TAKE THE REMAINDER OF MY LFE TO SORT THROUGH AND TO FIND A PLACE FOR IT. A HEALTHY PLACE. WITHOUT GOING INTO "THE BOOK" IT SURFICES TO SAY THAT I AM WALKING PROOF THAT FAITH IN ONES SELF IS NECESSARY AND POSSIBLE.

I FOUND MYSELF ALONE, ONE DAY. NOT THAT EVERONE MAGICALLY DISSAPPEARED BUT, THE ROSE COLORED GLASSES (WHICH HAD BEEN PLACED ON ME AT THE TIME OF MY BIRTH) HAD BEEN REMOVED, AND QUITE ABRUPTLY, I MUST SAY. I LOOKED AT MY LIFE AND THE PEOPLE WHO WHERE 'IN IT'. (SOME INVITED AND MOST NOT... YOU SEE SOME WERE BORN INTO MY LIFE). WHAT I FOUND WERE A CLUSTER FUCK OF SELFISH HURTFUL ANGRY PEOPLE. I FOUND PEOPLE WHO WERE BENT ON DESTROYING THE HAPPINESS OF NOT ONLY THEMSELVES BUT OTHERS (INCLUDING MINE).

I FOUND MYSELF LONGING FOR A COMFORT ( A PEACE IF YOU WILL) WHICH I THOUGHT THE COMMUNION OF FAMILY SHOULD BRING. THE PROBLEM WAS, I WAS LONGING FOR A MYTHICAL SORT OF CREAURE, ONE AKIN TO A UNICOERN. IT WAS AS FORGIN A CONCEPT AS A NEW LANGUAGE.

LONLY WAS A SPACE (WHICH I DISCOVERED) TO DEEP AND DARK TO LIVE IN. WHEN I WAS ABLE TO ACCEPT THE REALITY OF THE KNOTS IN MY LIFE, I REALIZED JUST HOW LONLY I WAS. I HAD NO NEXT OF KIN WHICH COULD BE TRUSTED TO PROTECT MY WELFARE LET ALONE THE WELFARE OF MY SONS. I HAD NO RELATION TO WHOM I WAS BLOOD RELATED TO CALL ON IF LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.

WHEN I TRANSITIONED INTO THE WORLD OF HARD REALITY I THOUGHT IT WOULD DESTROY ME... OR AT THE VERY LEAST SHATTER ME. INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, IT DID NOT. I FOUND A STRENGTH AND A FAITH IN MY OWN RRESOLVE I NVER KNEW WAS THERE. THE SCARY PART WAS, I THOUGHT I HAD HIT MY DAMASCUS ROAD YEARS AGO... GOES TO SHOW YOU THAT JUST WHEN WE THINK ITS ALL SORTED.. ITS NOT.

IT TOOK THE LOSS OF EVERYTHING AND EVERY ONE (WHOM I BELIEVED TO BE INPORTANT) FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT I HAD IT ALL WRONG. LIFE IS DESIGNED TO BE LONLY AND SELF EVALUATING. IT IS DESIGNED TO BE A DAUNTING AND EMPOWERING. THERE IS NO SAFE HARBOR UNLESS YOU DESIGN AND ERECT IT YOURSELF AND FORTIFY IT WITH PEOPLE WHO RECOGNIZE YOUR WORTH AND APPRECIATE YOUR PART OF THE JOURNEY (AS IT RELATES TO THEIR OWN HEALTHY SELF EVALUATING JOURNEY).

IT TAKES AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF STRENGTH TO UNTIE THE KNOTS AND PULL AWAY FROM THE FAMILIAL HURT AND BUILD A WORLD OF SELF FAITH AND ENVIORNMENTAL PEACE.

TO FIND THAT PEACE I HAD TO WANT IT AND ALLOW FOR THE FORCES AT WORK TO MOVE ME IN THE DIRECTION I WAS TO GO... NOW I KNOW THT SOUNDS SOOO EASY, BUT I AM HERE TO ELLYOU. ITS HARD AS HELL. IT IS AN EVERYDAY BATTLE. A BATTLE SOME DAYS I DO NOT THINK I WILL WIN... THATS WHEN FAITH IN MY ABILITY TO OVERCOM ALL OBSTACLES, COMES INTO PLAY. I HAVE TO BREATH DEPLY AD FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT THE ROADTO DIVINITY IS A LONG ANDTEDIOUS ONE. I REMIND MYSELF THAT UNLESS I ACCEPT THE ORGANIC NATURE OF PEACE I WILL NEVER ACHIEVE MY APOTHIOSIS.

SOME PEOPLE TRY TO HAVE THE FAITH OF THEIR MOTHERS AND GRANDMOTHERS. THEY TRY TO HAVE THE FAIH OF THEIR COMMUNITY, BUT PERSONAL PEACE WILL NEVER BE FOUND THROUGH THE LIVES AND FAITH OF OTHERS. IT MUST BE YOUR OWN. THE SACRAFICE MUST BE YOUR OWN . WE ARE ALL ACCOUNTABLE TO OUR OWN IMAGES. AND THOSE REFLECTIONS AND LIKENESSES ARE ONLY VALUABLE TO WHO WE SEE WHEN WE GAZE INTO THE STILL WATER.

MY PEACE AND FAITH ARE ROOTED IN A FEW BASIC PRINCIPALS... THEY ONLY SEEM TO WORK FOR PEOPLE (LIKE ME) WHO STRIVE EVERYDAY TO SEE BEYOND THE SURFACE OF IT ALL.

1 A LIE DONT CARE WHO TELLS IT AS LONG AS IT GETS TOLD... SO BE CAREFUL.
2 LIFE AND DEATH ARE GIVEN SHAPE THROUGH YOUR WORDS... SO BE MINDFUL
3 LIVE LIKE YOU WERE DYING AND YOU WONT BE CAUGHT OFF GAURD
4 IF IT DONT FEED YOU, FUCK YOU OR FRIEND YOU IT MUST NOT BE FOR YOU
5 IF I HURTS STOP DOING IT.. SIMPLE ENOUGH
6 WHEN IT GETS TO HEAVY TO CARY... UNPACK
7 IT IS THE HUMAN CONDITION TO BE SELFISH. ITS OK, AS LONG AS THOSE SELFISHNESSES DO NOT HURT, HARM OR ENCROACH ON THE HAPPINESS OF OTHERS
8 OVER USE I LOVE YOU
9 FORGIVE... ALWAYS
10 WHEN YOUR ON YOUR KNEES IN THE DIRT HOLDING ON TO THE GRASS TO KEEP FROM FALLING OFF OF THE EARTH... JUST LET GO
11 LAUGH OUT LOUD
12 CRY DEEPLY
13 DONT WEAR YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE.. IT WILL JUST GET DIRTY
14 IF THERE IS NO LOVE... WALK AWAY
15 TAKE TIME TO LISTEN TO THE WATER
16 TAKE YOUR WISKEY STRAIGHT... NO CHASER
17 WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS... FIND ANOTHER FRUIT
18 ROLL WITH IT... OR IT WILL ROLL OVER YOU
19 SOMETIMES THEIR BEST IS JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH
20 ALWAYS DANCE RECKLESS ABANDON


IT TAKES TIME TO IDENTIFY THE PAINFUL AREAS AND CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR LIFE AND IT TAKES EVEN LONGER TO MOVE FORWARD FROM THAT PAIN AND FIND A PEACEFUL PLACE.

Joan Osborne - One Of Us

Rosie & The Originals - You'll Lose A Good Thing

yesterday

Lauryn Hill - Just Like Water/Interlude 4 (6/15)

r. kelly - Heart Of A Woman - Chocolate Factory

BIBS, BRUISES AND BULL SHIT

MY SONS HAVE A WONDERFUL MOTHER, IN ME. BUT THE OTHER HALF OF THER TEAM IS NON-EXISTANT... MY YOUNGEST SON ASKED ME YESTERDAY "WILL WE EVER HAVE A DAD, AGAIN"?

TALK ABOUT YOUR WOW MOMENTS...

I DO THE VERY BEST I KNOW HOW... I GIVE THEM WHAT THEY NEED. BUT I WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE A BLACK MAN, BLACK MALE, A BLACK BOY... AND I WILL NEVER KNOW THE EXTENT, FULLY, OF THEIR PAIN... I'M HURTING FOR THEM...

I CRY FOR THEM... I AM ANGRY FOR THEM. I RAGE AGAINST THE WIND AND CLIMB MOUNTAINS FOR THEM AND YET, I WILL NEVER KNOW THEIR PAIN, THEIR EMPTINESS...

ITS HARD NOT TO TAKE ON THE BLAME OF A SITUATION I DID NOT CREATE BUT WHAT IS A MOTHER TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD(REN) HURT(S)?

THIS ON THE HEELS OF KNOWING THAT THE ONE MAN WHO COULD , MAY NOT...


I USUALLY WRITE FROM A PLACE OF EMPOWERMENT, BUT I HAVE NEVER BEEN WEAKER... TODAY I WRITE FROM THIS SPACE. UNFAMILIAR...

SO, TONIGHT I CRY THE TEARS OF THE HURT, THE BROKEN THE DOWN TRODDEN, THE WEAK, THE SCORNED THE LOVELESS THE EMPTY THE LONLEY, THE FRAIL....

ANOTHER LOOK IN THE MIRROR OF LIFE TO SEE THE TEAR STAINED FACE OF A SINGLE MOTHER. ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT TRYING TO SORT IT ALL OUT. TRYING TO MAKE A DOLLAR OUT OF FIFTEEN CENT. SCHEMING TO ROB PETER TO PAY PAUL.

THE GENIE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE JOHNNIE WALKER BOTTLE IS OF NO COMFORT AND THE ARMS WHICH I DESPRATELY NEED TO ENGULF ME ARE... WELL THERE ARE NO ARMS...

SO, I RAGE AT THE WIND A BIT LONGER AND I CRY A BIT MORE AND I HOLD MYSELF ALL IN AN ATTEMPT TO HOLD IT ALL TOGETHER FOR MY 3 SONS...

THEY KNOW MY STRENGTH THEY KNOW MY WEAKNESS, THEY KNOW MY LOVE... THAT WILL HAVE TO BE ENOUGH... FOR THE TIME BEING WHAT IT IS.

THEIR CIRCUMSTANCE, MY INABILITY TO GIVE THEM COMPLETE BALANCE... I AM SOOOO SORRY...

Toni Braxton - Spanish Guitar

Toni Braxton - Just Be A Man About It

ONCE UPON A TIME, NOT SO LONG AGO

IN THE TRADITION OF STORYTELLING~ OR MAYBE NOT SO TRADITIONAL, MY STORY BEGAN.

STREAMS OF RANDOM THOUGHT:

AS I BUMPED AND STUMBLED INTO THE CONCRETE WALLS OF LIFE MY BRUISES WERE NOT ALWAYS APPEAR ANT. SURFACING ONLY TO NOTIFY OTHERS OF MY BLINDNESS.

FALLING, OFTEN, INTO THE PIT-HOLES WHICH WERE COVERED WITH THE FALSE AND UN STURDY GROUND OF LIES...

THE ROAD MAPS WERE ILLEGIBLE AND THE DIRECTIONS MISLEADING.... AND I SERIOUSLY WONDERED WHY I WAS CONSISTENTLY LOST AND NO RESCUE COULD REACH ME. TURNING LEFT AND RIGHT WERE NOT OPTIONS.

THE COBBLE-STONED LANE ST REACHED AS FAR AS I COULD IMAGINE, DUE TO MY LACK OF SIGHT AND FORESIGHT, I SLIPPED ON THEM. HEAVY AND MISTY WAS MY WORLD AND SLIPPERY WAS MY JOURNEY.

THE EMPTINESS OF SILENCE GRIPPED MY EARS AND RODE MY SOUL, AS A FIERY BEAST, TO HELL. IN THAT SILENCE, I FOUND NO MUSIC TO FOLLOW OR SOOTH ME.

LABORED WAS MY BREATHING. MY SKIN LONGED FOR THE RELIEVING TOUCH OF HOPES BREEZE, TO NO AVAIL.... STALE WAS THE AIR OF MY WORLD.

SOMEWHERE ALONG MY JOURNEY , IN THE MIDST OF THE DARKNESS AND LIES SEEDS WERE PLANTED IN THE SOIL OF UNCERTAINTY... SO I BECAME A FEEBLE HORTICULTURALIST, TENDING TO THE VESSELS CONTAINING THESE SEEDS. LEARNING TO REAP AS I WENT ALONG.

SOMEHOW IN MY DARKNESS ALONG THE SIDES OF THAT COBBLE-STONE LANE, SHADOWS OF TREES, IN ALL OF THEIR OMINOUS SHAPES, CAME INTO MY VIEW. FEAR GRIPPED MY HEART AND SQUEEZED MY BLOOD, COLD THROUGH MY VEINS. INDESCRIBABLE WAS MY FEAR

SO, I LUMBERED THROUGH THE DARKNESS CARING THE POTS WHICH CARRIED THE SEEDS WHICH CARRIED MY HOPE OF LIFE. FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD WHEN THE JOURNEY HAD WORN OUT MY LEGS AND MY BACK ACHED AND MY ARMS WERE AS LEAD. I CRAWLED TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND GAVE THE MUDDIED EARTH MY POTTED SEEDS.

MY TEARS ANCHORED THEM IN PLACE. MY BODY SHIELDED THEM FROM THE COLD AND MIST. MY BREATH BECAME THEIR BREEZE OF COMFORT AND THEY GREW. THEY GREW TOWARD THE BLACK SKY.

WHEN THE FIRST SEED TOOK ITS SHAPE I REALIZED IT WAS AN OAK. STRONG AND STABLE. IT PIERCED THROUGH THE OMINOUS VEIL OF DARKNESS.

WHILE I SAT THERE ON THE COLD EARTH, I NOTICED THE SECOND TAKING SHAPE AND ALTHOUGH I DID NOT RECOGNIZE IT BY SIGHT ITS SMELL WAS A COMFORT LIKE I HAD NEVER KNOWN. IT GREW FROM SHEER COURAGE.... CEDAR. SOLID AND PROTECTING. IT TOO PIERCED THE SKY. ITS BRANCHES BEGAN TO INTERTWINE WITH THE FIRST.

THE NEXT TREE WAS IMMEDIATELY RECOGNIZED... AN ELM. WISE AND SURE. IT FOLLOWED SUIT AND MERGED ITS BRANCHES WITH THE OTHER TWO. WHEN I LOOKED UP I SAW THAT THE THREE FORMED A CANOPY OVER ME. COLLECTIVELY THEY SPREAD THEMSELVES THROUGH THE SKY REPELLING THE MIST AND ALLOWING THE COBBLE-STONE AND MUDDIED EARTH TO DRY. OPENING THE SKY TO REVEAL HEAVEN AND ITS RAYS OF LIGHT.

I STRUGGLED TO PULL MYSELF FROM THE GROUND AND THEY LENT ME THEIR ROOTS AND NUBBY BARK ON WHICH TO PULL AND BALANCE MY WEIGHT. WHEN I HAD RISEN STILL WORN AND NURSING AN EMPTY SPIRIT THEY YIELDED THE FRUIT OF MY SOUL AND REPLENISHED ME.

WITH THE NEW FOUND LIGHT I WAS ABLE TO SEE, SURROUNDING ME, THE SHOOTS OF NEW TREES WHICH ARE WAITING TO TAKE SHAPE AND GROW AROUND ME WAITING TO COMPLETE THE BUILDING OF THE NEW WORLD WHICH MY JOURNEYS STRUGGLES HAVE MADE ME DESERVING.


MY STORY CONTINUES...

TO MY siSTARS AND KINDRED I BRING YOU GREETINGS AND THE BLESSINGS OF THE MOST HIGH~

I HAVE BEEN, INTENTIONALLY, SILENT THESE PAST FEW MONTHS, WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO INSPIRE ME, MOTIVATE ME, BACK TO THE THE TOPICS AND ISSUES WHICH ARE MOST IMPORTANT TO ME..... TO US....

IN THIS ABSENCE, I HAVE FOUND THAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING UN-NECESSARILY. THE, HONEST, TRUTH IS, THE VERY THINGS WHICH DRIVE ME/ENRAGE ME/ FUEL MY PASSIONS, ARE ALL AROUND ME. THERE ARE DAILY REMINDERS OF THE ATROCITIES BEFALLING WOMEN. THERE HAS BEEN NO NEED FOR MY SILENCE/ ABSENCE, ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT I FOUND MYSELF IN A PLACE OF HELPLESSNESS. I MUST SAY I FOUND MYSELF IN A PLACE OF SELF PITTY. IN THE WORLD, IN WHICH I RESIDE, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO ROOM FOR THAT MINDST. FOR MY SILENCE, MY INABILITY TO FIND THE STRENGTH IN MY OWN VOICE, I AM DEEPLY SORRY...

WE (AS WOMEN) MUST DIG DEEPER AND DRAW FROM WELLS OF STRENGH, WHICH WE BELIEVED HAD BEEN DEPLETED, IN ORDER TO CREATE ENVIORNMENTS WHICH WILL SUSTAIN, NOT ONLY OURSELVES BUT OUR DAUGHTERS AND ENDOW THEM WITH ENTITLEMENTS WHICH DO NOT MAKE THEM (OR THEIR WOMBS) COMMODITIES. WE, HAVE ENDURED THE TOURTURES AND BORN THE BRUNT OF HISTORYS RESENTMENTS. WE HAVE GROWN IN THE HOPE OF THE PRESENTS WORK. NOW, WE MUST CELEBRATE IN THE LIGHT OF THE FUTURES PROMISE. WE MUST WORK, LIVE AND LOVE HARDER THAN EVER IMAGINED, IF WE ARE TO GIVE BIRTH TO AND NURTURE THE HOPE WHICH WAS BESTOWED UPON US AT OUR CREATION.

IT IS MY MOST SINCERE AMBITION TO CREATE A SPACE IN OUR LIVES (BEGINNING WTH ME) WHERE BY WE CAN FIND THE MEETING GROUND AND BUILD A NETWORK OF STRENGTH FROM WHICH TO BEGIN THIS JOURNEY....


NUT MA'AT ATEN

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